Daily Life work Lesson 1

1.What is the one thing that you most identify yourself with (your looks, your job, your family, etc.)? Who would you be if that were to disappear? My Response... Huge question. I do what I do, behave the way I do, exist the way I do for my family. If they were not here. EVERYTHING about me would change. I'd still believe in God but existence would not be the same, at all!! 2. How do you think others see you? How many of your choices are made to maintain this image? My Response... I am completely aware that people often see me as things I am not. It makes me crazy. Good and bad. I do lots of thing based on how others will be affected. 3. Think of any area where you judge yourself as either inferior to others or superior to them. This is your ego jockeying for position. Fess up to that, and you'll have moved beyond ego—simply by recognizing it. My Response... Wow, not sure I am ready for that. I think I have more common sense than most people. I am going to have a hard time getting away from that. I don't think that I better than people but I do hate to "feel" lesser to anyone. I don't like to "feel" like I am the cause of disappointment in anyone or thing. 4. Are you constantly feeling disrespected? When is the last instance you felt you were treated badly? Why? My Response... I am a flight attendant. So there is that!!! But I don't think people listen to me. I repeat myself often. OFTEN. I have people in my world who are fixers. As they began to 'fix' my concerns they stop listening. They hear me, but have moved on to whatever they now deem as the important parts of my conversation. I have people in my life who like to be the talkers. They need very little response. I am just a warm ear. I am not sure why. I may not articulate well or perhaps have the wrong people in importance in my life. I don't know. I have very few people who ask "How are YOU", and wait for a response. 5. What choices have you made that are genuine expressions of who you are and in alignment with what you want from life? What choices, in hindsight, took you away from the person you really are, into an image fabricated by your mind and your society? My Response... I am a giver. It makes me happy. I give what and when I can. Because I am giving, people take that to mean I am overly nice. I am not. This in return disappoints people. They get their feeling hurt. But these are expectations they have set, not that I gave. I have a pleasing personality. I have the need to please disease. I am genuine in how I feel about you and I express that. That makes the reality that I am not a push over hard to deal with, I guess??!! 6. List choices you're facing now, whether big or small, and explore which are the ego-driven options and which represent those of your true self. My Response... One of the many struggles I have had recently had was wheather to have "Small Group" bible study in my home or even to be a part of one. It ties into the above. I hate to disappoint people. I am a giver and listener. People often mistake my kindness as weakness and try to take advantage of it. At 39, I am to tired to deal with it anymore. I know that it's blocking my blessings. I know that I need the fellowship with other Christians in my community. I know that there are lessons to be learned, that I am unwilling to hear. I am guarding me from any hurt that is out there. I know this but it's hard to change. I know that my kids need this. I know for them to think globally that community is important. I know that keeping them around people with similar beliefs will enhance their faith, still I struggle. 7. A lot of what we think of as ego is based on fear—of not being good enough, of not meeting others' expectations. How much of your relationships are based on what you think other people expect from you? Start by thinking of those closest to you. My Response... Ha. I can't write this book today. Let me just say, I am fearful. Family can be a strange animal! I have built relationships based on this! 8. What role do you play at home, at work or in the world? What roles do you assign others? What would happen if you were to become aware of these roles and make them less important? My Response... I am a lot of things. Lot's of things I'd rather not be. Lot's of things I don't "feel" I have a choice not to be. It wears you down and makes you tired. I don't get to assign a lot to others. (My Poor Husband). I don't have people who will really back me up that are near me. I don't get to be less important to those around me. I am often all they have. To leave them would be to leave them alone. I realize that it sounds like I think really highly of myself, but it's just the opposite. I rather just do me. I would rather just take care of me for awhile. I don't know what would happen if my roles were made less important. I might be happier.